Our Wedding Day - As We Saw It
Ian writes:
In the last few months I've hardly written anything of any note. Normally I really enjoy putting pen to paper (or, more accurately, fingers to keyboard) but wedding plans precluded me from writing anything other than to-do lists, and lengthy ones at that. Now, as we both sit here on a cruise ship somewhere in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea, it's time to dust off those typing fingers and try to capture some of the experiences and feelings of the last few days that made our wedding. It might be a bit long-winded, but it's primarily for us - so that we can look back years from now and re-live the events of the day. So, apologies to anyone who would prefer a more edited version (heck, there's always the photos!). Let's start on the eve of the big day ...
Thursday 19th January
"If there's anything I haven't done, if there's anything I've forgotten to do, it doesn't matter now - it's too late to do anything about, so I might just as well relax." That's pretty much what I said to Andy, big brother and best man for the big day, on the Thursday evening. He had arrived with fiancée Jacqui, as had my sister, brother-in law and their two kids Daisy (bridesmaid) and Toby (usher). I was later joined by mum and sister Vikki. Manda, meanwhile, had done the traditional thing and spent the night elsewhere - at her mother's house so that I would not see her preparations for the big day. Thank goodness Manda and I had got a house big enough to put everyone up (albeit with mum and Vikki sleeping on an inflatable bed in the living room - an inflatable bed that would later decide to deflate during the course of the night, oops!). In fact, getting that house was the final catalyst that allowed us to get married - we'd freed up enough money to pay for the wedding after each selling our own respective houses and had waited until we were settled before making wedding plans.
After a busy year of moving from pillar to post, we'd finally got plans for the wedding together. Just three and a half months ago from this evening those plans started to take shape, and the 20th January date still seemed like a long way off. Of course, everyone we spoke to three and a half months ago said "Ooooh, that's not long now," instilling a sense of panic or urgency in us when we thought about all the things we still had to organise. The truth is, even until *three weeks* before the wedding, we still had no confirmed photographer and the entertainment for the evening reception was booked just two weeks before. Perhaps it was because of the time of year for the wedding, or maybe it was because we'd opted for a Friday, we managed to get lucky on all counts, despite what some might consider last-minute booking.
Those three and a half months sure did fly past. It's tomorrow! Brother and sister alike asked me if I was nervous, to which I replied no, duly cracking open another can of Carling. What could go wrong? We had the suits, the rings, the venue, the harpist was booked, everyone that needed paying had been, we'd had a rehearsal - the only things that could go wrong, I figured, were the kind of things that no amount of planning could take care of, like torrential downpours or someone making a mistake during the ceremony. And besides, as far as the latter goes, that's the kind of thing that can make the day even more special - the little things that people remember from the day (and then send off to You've Been Framed to claim their £250!).
I eventually went to sleep at about 1:30 in the morning, with the alarm set for 8am. I slept like a log (the Carlings helped with that) and hoped for the best for the next day.
Manda writes:
Three and a half months of careful planning and slowly, like pieces of thread, everything was coming together. I'd taken two extra days off work to pick up bits and pieces for the wedding and to make sure last minute things, like flower arrangements and wedding music, were taken care of. As many people had asked beforehand, "was I nervous?". Well, the answer, on reflection, was quite honestly, no. I was too busy to be nervous! If anything, I was worried in case I'd forgotten to do something - even though in the back of my mind, I knew everything would be 'alright on the night', or day as it were!
As evening approached, I was aware that time was flying by and the wedding day would soon be upon us. This was further reinforced when my mum, Tina, Ian and I made our way over to the venue, Lydiard House, to put up the decorations. Mum and I had made a lot of decorative nick-nacks and it was time to see whether they'd work in these elegant surroundings.
The cake was the first thing that needed assembling. Fresh from Marks and Spencers, the cake, pretty as it was, needed some TLC. The four layers were carefully raised onto pillars and decorated with flowers and a couple of dancing bears on top. It looked the part!
Once the tables had been decorated with flowers, favours, place cards, glitter and sequins, it was time to go up to the Bolingbrook room (where the ceremony would be held). Mum and I had made some flowers that needed attaching to the aisle seats. This took a while to do but was definitely a worthwhile exercise - they transformed a sober-looking stately room to a pretty wedding venue.
Flowers on the aisle seats
Back to the dining room again to put some Ivy up on the pillars. Time was fast running out. Why wouldn't the darn foliage stay up? Several text messages had arrived too from well-wishers and people who were making their way up for the evening. I tried to calm down and focus on the job at hand. Where were we? Ah yes, the Ivy. We eventually fastened them on using lots of sewing thread. A final extra sprinkling of glitter on the tables and we'd done it! Everything was in place at last. We stood back to admire our handy work and agreed it looked fabulous!
Preparing the function room
for the wedding breakfast
As we arrived back at my mum's house, Judy (one of the bridesmaids) had turned up in a taxi. Like booking a holiday several months in advance and it not quite feeling real yet, things were fast heading this way now. Quick hellos and transporting bags to the house, it was time for me to go back to my house where Karen, Ian's sister, was waiting to do my nails among the chaotic surroundings. It was very lively in our house - just another reminder that it was nearly time. I could see Daisy's (bridesmaid) dress, Karen and Barbarba's lovely Chinese outfits and the best man's suit hanging up in the lounge. A flurry of activity developed in front of my eyes with people busy making last minute place cards, looking for various bit and bobs to complete their outfits and looking bemused at the props for the best man's speech.
The doorbell rang soon after I arrived - my auntie Elisa had brought Caroline (bridesmaid) over for a final dress fitting. I'd just picked up a cuppa and nursed the mug in my hands as I watched the beautiful golden dress, now on Caroline - she looked like a princess! A few minor alterations noted, it was time for Caroline and her mum to head over to my mum's. Once Karen had helped me put on the false nails, I too, followed suit and headed over there.
My family (bar dad and Chris who were already with the Sandman), Elisa's family, Judy and I sat around the kitchen table talking about anything and everything. I was definitely feeling very relaxed - not how I thought I'd feel, somehow. Maybe, now in my 30's, I'm just a tad more relaxed. I remember when my sister got married, I was so nervous that I was literally sick the night before. It was not even down to empathy skills as Tina was as right as rain on that occasion!
Judy and I shared a room. We chatted for a bit and it had only occurred to me that Ian and I hadn't picked our wedding song. Robbie Williams' "Angels" or Shania Twain's "Still the One" - which was it to be? With a little help from Judy, it was finally decided upon - Shania it was! A quick text update to Ian at midnight and slowly, I began to unwind for the night. Sleep came easily and I felt myself nodding off in no time. The last thing I vaguely remember seeing was Judy wearing a mud mask; the rest, as they say, was history!
Friday 20th January
Ian writes:
So, of the two things I mentioned that you have no control over, the first was the weather. I knew from weather reports that this day could be changeable and had also read that it might rain, that there will be sunny patches, but really who can say for sure? All I know is that I was woken from my heavy sleep at about 5:30am by the elements - rain that was coming in at my bedroom window with some force. It truly did sound as if someone was throwing buckets of water at the window. I cursed the weather reporters then went back to sleep, hopeful that changeable meant just that - and changeable for the better too!
By the time my alarm went off, the noise of rain against the window had been replaced by the sounds of birds chirping outside and the steady tramping of feet indoors as everyone in the house began the process of scheduling showers (would there be enough hot water for 9 showers? Only one way to find out!). Meanwhile, downstairs, Andy took on the role of head chef as he whipped up a plate of cooked breakfast for everyone - we would all need the energy. Breakfast was eaten in our civvies - no-one felt brave enough to get dressed too early lest a wayward baked bean decide to decorate our fineries. And so it was that I began the day wearing the most garish mis-match of checked pyjama bottoms with a Mambo loud shirt. If nothing else, it helped wake the others up!
Manda writes:
The sound of heavy rain hitting the window woke me up too. Once awake, I found it difficult to sleep again and was beginning to think about the day ahead. I tried to reassure myself that come rain or shine, we'd still have a good day. After all, we'll be indoors and what could we expect for January?
Sleep came in fits and starts from that point onwards. Eventually, after tossing and turning for what seemed like an age, it was time to get up. It was 8am and as I drew the curtains, I could see clear blue skies and the sun beaming at me. Fantastic! Mum was already up and about. She'd caught a cold in the days leading up to the wedding and her voice sounded croaky. She'd got even less sleep than I did which, if you know my mum, comes as no major surprise. Like a trooper, though, she soldiered on, cooking a fry-up. I managed to eat a healthy portion and was wondering when the nerves would finally kick in.
Manda having her hair done
At 9am, Elisa started on my hair and make-up. I was aware of pins being put into my hair and mascara being applied to my eyelashes but everything else was a bit of a blur. Raymond, my cousin and cameraman for the day, had arrived. Uncle Andrew was outside fastening bows and ribbons to the car. Catherine had arrived too and was somewhere in the house. Tina and Judy were upstairs getting ready. All these things were happening around me but I couldn't tell you the order in which they happened.
Ian writes:
Nick and Toby, dressed to impress
Despite being very careful not to get any spillages on the formal clothing, we still had testing moments: as I put on my cravate, I discovered a mark on it that I'd not noticed before. It appeared to be a grease spot and so with very little time to mess around, Karen did her best to remove it with a Pampers wet wipe and an iron. Then, moments after Andy said the words: "Jac, I wish you wouldn't use my shaver to do your legs - you know it makes me cut myself," Andy duly cut his neck. Then, a few moments after that, the freshly shaved (or sliced) neck came into contact with the only part of the shirt that was exposed - Andy had got blood on his collar with 20 minutes before we were due to leave for the venue. This time it was mum's turn to take evasive action (with the help of some salt, warm water and the iron).
Nick arrived with wife Na and daughter Jasmine (who was too shy to say hello, or anything else for that matter) and got dressed for the ocassion. At 10:45 we were all ready to go. Andy, Toby and me piled into my dirty old Golf - there seemed little point in washing it for the occasion as we would be the first to arrive and were not required to arrive in style! - and Nick followed in convoy as we made our way to the wedding venue, Lydiard house, just 10 minutes' drive away.
Manda writes:
The next time I looked at the kitchen clock, it was 11.15am. Eek! Five minutes before we were supposed to leave. As soon as Elisa put the final touch i.e. the veil on, I quickly ran up the stairs to get dressed.
Nerves are a strange thing - for me, the feeling came in waves. One minute, I was fine and the next, apprehensive. Had I done everything? Well, I guess it's too late now if I hadn't. As I sprinted up the stairs, I could hear people saying "Good luck" and "See you there" but these were just about within earshot.
My wedding dress was hanging up on a hanger, hooked on the wardrobe door. Dress, shoes, tights and earrings seemed to go on simultaneously. Judy assisted me so this probably explains it! I even managed to take some snaps of ourselves in the process of getting ready. I was now set to go!
As I walked down to the hallway, dad was at the foot of the stairs. When he saw me, his eyes lit up and he said, 'wah' (equivalent of 'wow' in English). His expression spoke volumes, even though he didn't verbally - and I knew I was on to a winner. My dad is nothing if not a perfectionist so it was a true honour. Uncle Andrew took some photos, Elisa dusted me down with a final covering of powder and they, along with my mum, set off for Lydiard.
I know it's the bride's prerogative to be fashionably late but I was ready and was waiting for my bridesmaids! Once everyone was ready, it was time for us to make our way there. Tina took to the steering wheel, dad sat in the front passenger seat and Judy, Catherine and I were bundled into the back. I remember "Push the Button" (by the Sugababes) playing in the background, while I was reciting my vows in my head. Note to self: it's "I, Manda Chan, do take thee Ian James Lloyd to be my lawful wedded husband", not "awful wedded husband", or even "lloydful wedded husband" for that matter!
Ian writes:
Once at the venue, Nick, Toby, Andy and I had some time before guests arrived to have our photos taken. Despite my early 5-am weather worries, the day had developed into a beautiful bright one, albeit a little fresh. We stood outside in front of Lydiard House squinting into the sun's brightness, thankful that umbrellas would not be required for the outdoor photos. Unfortunately we discovered that renovation work on the house (work that we were aware would be taking place) meant that scaffolding on one side of the house that we'd spotted last week, which was overdue for dismantling, had since been joined by a fresh set of scaffolding on the other side. We looked at it and wondered if, in its nascent state, whether we could find a few workmen to do a quick dismantling job on it. Could it be done in 20 minutes? Of course not, but the thought definitely crossed my mind!
We called an end to the first photo session of the day when the first guests arrived. With that, Nick and Toby were assigned to their stations so that guests were directed to the right room and then to their respective seats. The time was positively flying and Paul, the venue's manager, almost had to drag me away from the organisation of the ushers and so on so that Andy and I could meet with the registrar. We sat in the room with the two ladies from Swindon Registrar's Office chit-chatting about what was to follow. They commented on the general sense of calm from both Andy and myself - I reiterated that I was now in 'go with the flow' mode, and there was little I could do to correct anything that we'd forgotten about. The train was on the track and had gathered momentum - no derailing it now! The registrar explained what would happen and that she would ask for the rings at the appropriate time. Just follow her lead, I thought, that's the best advice.
Moments later, we were ushered out of the office by Paul with some urgency - I inferred from that that if I'd hung around any longer I would have crossed paths with Manda on a stairwell outside the room where we'd spoken to the registrar! I took my place at the front of the Bolingbroke Room, where the ceremony was to take place, and waited for the big moment to come. The harpist played to the waiting guests, then, when I heard her play Van Morrison's "Brown-Eyed Girl", I knew that Manda was only minutes from walking up the aisle (we had agreed that this was the 'trigger' song - and it was in fact the very same song that was playing in the background when I proposed to Manda).
Manda writes:
One minute I was enjoying the sights of Swindon and the next, we'd arrived at Lydiard House. Tina drove the car over to the courtyard and from the window, I could see Paul coming out to greet us. As I left the car, one of my false nails pinged off and I could see a lily from my bouquet on the floor of the car. Both things were taken care of efficiently by my bridesmaids. Sue and Mike (photographers) came into view soon after with their professional cameras, as did Raymond with the camcorder. We were posing for photos as Paul, Vicky, Elisha and Rob arrived. At this point, I was wondering whether the other guests had managed to find their way to the venue and whether the harpist had found someone to carry her harp up to the Bolingbrook Room. But this train of thought soon disappeared as Paul whisked the bridesmaids upstairs. Dad and I were then escorted upstairs, passing the bridesmaids, in to a room to speak to the registrars. They made us feel at ease straight away. I noticed that Sarah Ellison, the registrar I'd initially requested, was not around (I later found out she was ill). Here, my dad and I were asked to confirm our names and professions. After the formalities, I was reunited with my bridesmaids - all seven of them. I must admit, Tina, Judy, Catherine, Daisy, Caroline, Isabel and Christina looked stunning in their gold dresses.
Lydiard House does seem like a bit of a rabbit warren, with narrow corridors running throughout the house. Somehow, just as all roads are supposed to lead to Rome, this particular corridor led up the Bolingbrook Room. A few more rounds of photos and we were off. I spotted a few of the guests taking snaps before ducking back into the room.
I could hear harp music as we approached the room; "Brown Eyed Girl" was playing (Christine the harpist had remembered!), which instantly made me feel calmer. Harp music has a relaxing effect. As I walked into the room, I felt surprisingly calm.
Ian writes:
"Brown-Eyed Girl" finished and, as planned, the registrar announced that the ceremony was about to begin. With that the harpist began playing the wedding march in her own inimitable style (I must say it sounds a lot more soothing on a harp than on an abrasive-sounding church organ!).
As the guests craned their necks around to get a glimpse of the bridesmaids and the bride, two of Manda's family guests sprinted into the room - they'd been outside taking photos and re-entered the room as the wedding march played to a peel of laughter and at least one wolf-whistle! Seconds later the *real* wedding party entered the room, led by young Christopher, Manda's confident little 5-year-old nephew. His job was to lead the procession that included the youngest bridesmaids and flowergirls, Isabel and Christina, who in turn would lead Manda and her father. But then, as I noted earlier, there are some things that you cannot plan for. His confidence, not usually something that deserts him, completely evaporated as he stood at the beginning of the aisle. Gentle nudges from Manda from behind and beckonings from myself and the registrar up front all failed to move Christopher; he remained anchored to the spot, burying his face in his hands and with everyone having a good laugh at his expense, it didn't look like this was going to change. Very swiftly, plan B was brought into place - that being to forget about Chris and just walk on ahead without him! One minute in to the ceremony, and already we'd had two things for everyone to have a laugh at - it really did seem to set everyone at ease and remove any lingering nerves that may have been present.
Manda writes:
The intial surprise of seeing everyone turn around at the same time disipated when pageboy, Christopher, simply refused point blank to walk up the aisle - to the amusement of the guests. I think this helped break the ice a little. The flower girls ended up overtaking him in the end, sprinkling rose petals in their stride. The procession continued as planned from this point: flower girls, dad and I, Tina and a very shy Christopher, Judy and Catherine, Daisy and Caroline.
The aisle was surprisingly short and I smiled and said a few hellos as I passed faces that came into focus. Once at the top, Ian greeted me with the words 'ho leng' (Chinese for 'very pretty'). Any traces of nerves disappeared at this point. The exchanging of the vows went smoothly, which was a major relief! At one point, the registrar mispronounced one of Ian's names and that threw me for a second, but since I'd memorised what I had to say, I was able to continue. No-one (apart from Jane apparently) cried at the ceremony - we must all be as hard as nails!
Ian writes:
What with all the fun of Chris' stalled procession leading, I'd not really paid as much attention to Manda as I might otherwise have, but as she finally made her progress up the aisle I discovered that the registrar's comment moments before was entirely accurate: "She looks beautiful," she'd told me.
I'd not spent a lot of time before the ceremony familiarising myself with the wedding vows. We'd picked our vows from the various options available, multiple-choice style, and I knew that we would simply have to repeat them after the registrar. For that reason, I had not been nervous about this part. Sure, I didn't want to fluff it, but I'd no reason to suspect that I would. What I hadn't accounted for was the general feeling that when I was speaking that it would feel like someone else had taken control of all my facial muscles! Nerves must have kicked in as I struggled to make my mouth form the necessary shapes to speak the words that were required of me.
Freinds of ours who had been married before had already said that the wedding ceremony would fly past, that afterwards it would all seem something of a blur (this is part of the reason why we're writing it all down now!). I, for one, was single-mindedly focused on the job at hand. So much so that I was completely unaware of one little event that took place right next to me ...
When planning the vows, we were able to include up to three readings. Having scoured the Internet for something appropriate, we found just one that we liked and asked Karen if she would do the reading. We had the running order of the vows that we'd chosen all set out and this included the reading. As the registar got to the part that where she asked if anyone knew of any reason why we could not be married, Karen stood up to do her reading that followed. I'd not noticed her do this at the time, but Judy, one of the bridesmaids, admitted afterwards that her heart did skip a beat thinking that someone at the front was about to drop a bombshell! Realising that the registrar wasn't quite ready for the reading yet, Karen sat back down until a few moments later when the registrar asked for Karen to do the reading (with which she did a great job).
This wouldn't be the last time that the plan and what the registrar did on the day differed slightly. Andy had checked with the registrar earlier about when he should hand over the rings, and was told that he'd know. So, when the registrar said "Who has the rings?" or words to that effect, Andy stepped up and passed a ring to Manda and was about to do the same to me when the registrar reined him in, informing him that we weren't quite ready yet for that. So, Andy took back the ring and made a joke of it. The registrar continued with her spiel for a couple more sentences and then asked for the rings (again!). "What *now* now?" asked Andy, having a laugh at it again.
Manda writes:
Just married!
The signing of the register was next, followed by photos. It was difficult to know where to look as there were so many flashes going off at the same time but we managed to get some good ones. Some people even took photos through the harp strings, an effect that worked really well. I don't know about Ian, but I felt like a true star, like I was posing for photos for OK magazine!
As we walked down the aisle as Mr and Mrs Lloyd, there were more photos. We had some lovely photos taken outside the Bolingbrook Room, on the stairs and at the foot of the stairs. We then proceeded out to the courtyard where we had more photos taken. Even though the sun was out, it was deceptively nippy and so I put on my fur jacket. Sue and Mike got a group shot of us in the courtyard from an upstairs window - that was an ingenious idea, I thought. We didn't stay outside for long but just long enough for people to take a few snaps and to throw confetti. Again, it was difficult to know where to look; Ian and I would say "look at Sue", "look at Alan", "look at [whoever happened to be pointing a camera in our direction at that moment]" every now to try to co-ordinate a little, so we were at least looking in roughly the same direction.
Bride, groom, bridesmaids and Manda's parents
Ian writes:
Standing out there in that courtyard, I was immensely pleased that the heavens had decided not to open on us. I had been ready for a series of photographs taken indoors, but here we all were grouped together outside getting the kind of photos we'd all hoped for. Well, if you include goosebumps as a requested feature in the pictures! Manda was looking extremely cold and evey now and then the courtyard would be 'treated' to a little gust of wind. By that I mean 'Arctic blast' which had little effect on us chaps wearing our suits but resulted in a sonic equivalent of a Mexican Wave from the bridesmaids who seemed to trace the path of the gusts with their teeth-chattering and shrieks! Everyone seemed more than a little happy when they learned that the group photos were done and dusted and that we could head back inside.
Manda writes:
Manda's 'height enhancers'
We then moved on to the drinks reception - back in the warmth, a nice glass of Champagne or Buzz Fizz awaited us all. I spoke to some of the guests, showing off my three-inch-high, spangly white platform shoes. That, along with my hair, gave me an added five inches in height - I was now 5 foot 7! Well, a girl has to think of these things especially when her man is 5'11"!
Christine had relocated with her harp to the lounge area and was playing once again; I could pick out a few of the songs that we'd chosen, like "Beauty and Beast", "Shrek" and "Whole new world" (from Aladdin). I posed for photos with my family, cousins, parents, uncle and aunt then Ian and I were whisked away for photos on the stairwell with Sue and Mike. Daisy and Andy were there too - so was Toby for a short while. After taking several posed snaps - looking out of the window, looking at each other, looking deep in thought etc, we were taken over to the harpist by the bar for a few more 'through the harp' snaps. While we were standing next to the harpist, my mind drifted off to an earlier conversation with Christine about song requests. "Have you any requests?" she asked. Well, I was going to ask her to dress up as a cherub but thought better of it! "Anything by Elton John would be good," suggested the rational part of my brain; the mischievous one hid beneath the covers and I chuckled to myself as Sue clicked away! Several fake cake-cutting photos were taken by the professionals before it was time to move the itinerary along.
Ian writes:
Christopher and Toby playing with bubbles
So many photos of us. For the first time in my life, and it would probably the only time in my life, I understood what it must be like to be a Hollywood star. I have to say that if it *is* always like this for the Hollywood mob, I can understand why you'd have a flunky to go out and buy you a pint of milk! There must have been hundreds of photos of us taken already by the official photographers and all the relatives and friends. I'd thought about asking people to let us have copies of their pics, but already I was beginning to realise just how long it would take me to organise the photos - I'd never finish the job!
It was nice to get back to friends and relatives after the official photographs were taken; it gave us both a chance to catch up with people whom we'd only seen in the ceremony. The informal chit-chat didn't last long, though - pretty soon we were back in 'wedding protocol mode' as we lined up at the entrance to the function room where we would be having the afternoon meal (which is, for some strange reason, still referred to as the wedding breakfast). We shook everyone's hands and said our hellos as they filed in the room and took their places. Before long, we were the only ones left at which point Paul shut the door on us so that he could do the announcement to the assembled guests to welcome the new Mr & Mrs Lloyd. We came through the door, once more to flashlights and applause. Ah, stars for a day indeed!
Manda writes:
Time seemed to fly by and soon the wedding breakfast was upon us. The initial plan stated that there would be an hour and a half between the end of the ceremony and the beginning of food. Had one and a half hours gone by already? As the guests filed in one by one into the dining room, Ian and I were at the door, welcoming them in. When the last guest had entered the room, the doors closed. Paul announced that Mr and Mrs Lloyd were now going to come in and that people should stand and raise a glass to toast the happy couple. Mrs Lloyd - wow, that sounded strange - I hadn't even practiced signing with my new surname at all. Very strange!
Judy with the too-good-to-eat dessert
The warm reception into the room was wonderful - family and friends dashed up to take some snaps. At last, they had free reign and did not have to worry about getting in the way of the professionals.
We got through all the courses, miraculously managing not to spill anything onto our pristine clothes. All the courses tasted superb but my favourite had to be the dessert. The presentation looked too nice to eat and when we were brave enough to cross this temporary barrier, we found it to taste as delicious as it looked.
The real cake-cutting was next and, once again, flash bulbs went off everywhere. I swear there must have been a few of me looking cross-eyed at the end! The cake-cutting was followed by coffee, which was a nice way of rounding off a wonderful meal. Paul had kept his promise of making sure he'd look after us and our guests - we felt truly spoilt!
Ian did his speech first - somehow I didn't think my dad would like to do any public speaking (he usually feels sleepy after a big meal anyway so it was probably just as well). I was amazed at how calm this young man standing next to me was, as he thanked every one who helped out in turn. Ian's speech was followed by the handing out of gifts to the bridesmaids, ushers, best man and page boy. Even both sets of mums received some serious big bouquets, which they accepted with a big smile. Still no tears though - cor, they're a bunch of hard nuts!
How could Andy follow a speech like that? The answer was with great ease. Andy's delivery style and amusing anicdotes about Ian's upbringing were spot on. Ian breathed a sigh of relief to learn that his brother did not embarrass him too much - maybe the naked photo (don't get too excited, he was only three in that shot).
Ian writes:
I knew that Andy wouldn't let me down on the speech. He'd been careful enough to check what he should or shouldn't say on the day. I decided it would be best for him to err on the side of caution lest it cause any distress and so took the full brunt of it myself - not that it was anything to be too concerned. After all, don't we all have dodgy photos of us when we were still knee-high to a grasshopper?
For my part, doing my speech and taking whatever flak I might get from Andy's speech marked the second of three things - landmarks, if you like - that would cause me to bite my nails somewhat. The first was getting the vows right, then getting the speech right, and there now remained just one more aspect of the day for me to be nervous about - and that was the 'first dance'. But that was still hours away. For now, I could relax and finally have a beer, safe in the knowledge that the two trickiest parts were definitely over.
Manda writes:
I put on my red Chinese wedding dress, ready for the Chinese tea-pouring ceremony. With this extra window of opportunity, we'd planned to carry out the ceremony at this time, instead of squeezing it in on the actual Chinese wedding day, as would traditionally be the case.
Sue and Mike took us outside the main entrance to the house and we had some photos taken of just the two of us by the porch and on the grass. Daisy followed us outside - although I don't know how she managed it with it being quite chilly outside. I think she left us to it at some point, which was probably a wise move on her part.
Tea cups all set for the ceremony
The tea-pouring ceremony beckoned and first up was Barbara. I explained that she just needed to take a sip of the sweet tea, put it down and put some gold on me. The idea was to get me looking as similar to Mr T from the A-Team as possible! Then it was Ian's turn but the only difference was that he did not get ladened with gold - an unfair deal but that's the way it goes! Andy, Karen & Terry, my parents, Tina, Elisa's family, Thomas' family, Alan's family, Catherine (on behalf of her parents), Raymond (on behalf of his parents), Uncle Ralph and Linda & Nick also enjoyed the tea.
"You started the tea-pouring earlier than planned," observed Mike correctly. With some families with young kids who wanted to go back for a break before the evening do and since the plan was only supposed to be a rough guideline, we'd decided to move it forward slightly. It was good to know that my sequence of events document had been read though!
The next time I looked at a clock, it was a quarter to seven - fifteen minutes before the guests for the evening reception were due to arrive. The next thing I knew, Elisa was back and whisked me away for a hair and make-up touch-up. By the time I left my room, it was 7.05pm and some of the guests had arrived. I spent the next few hours, away from Ian, chatting to the guests. That was one thing that I definitely wanted to do as I've been to so many weddings in the past where I've not even spoken to the bride and groom. Between the pair of us, I think we covered all the guests - all 100 of them. Many people commented on my hair and make up and how I looked very Audrey Hepburn. My shoes were also a topic of conversation and a perfect photo opportunity as some of the daytime guests had spread the news.
Ian writes:
After the tea-pouring ceremony, we had a little while to wind down. As we sat and chilled out in the lounge area of the venue, someone turned on the television. I hadn't noticed it was on until I became aware that there were a few people watching the screen and commenting on something taking place in front of us. It turned out that we were seeing a piece of history take place on our wedding day - there, swimming up The Thames in front of crowds of people, was a bottle nose whale that had evidently lost its way. It was the first time this had happened (or at least the first recorded event of its kind) and it seemed more than a little surreal that it should take place on our wedding day. Great, our big day and some whale decides to upstage us, eh?!
Like Manda, I'd been keeping a close eye on the time and watched the minutes leading up to 7pm tick by, wondering when people would start to arrive. Moments after 7pm, the influx began - they really did stick to the time stated on the invite! It was great to see all the other people we'd invited turning up, be they work colleagues, my 'geek' friends and old buddies from Southampton way (well, 'buddy' in the shape of Moley!).
The next few hours really did become the blur that I was warned the wedding day would be - with regular top-ups of Carling along the way from the various guests, I did the whole 'circulating' thing, trying my best to make sure that I got to speak to each and every guest who'd turned up, and also trying my best not to be rude when moving on the next person. It's very difficult but I really felt like there was some kind of egg timer going off telling me: "OK, that's quite enough time with this person, say your goodbyes and move along to the next one"!
Manda writes:
The buffet meal was just as good as the midday meal. I asked whether my dad enjoyed the food; he is something of a food critic, having been chef of a successful Chinese restaurant before retiring. He gave it the thumbs up, and that was an accolade to the chefs at Lydiard. I sat with Malcolm, Irena, Neil and Sam whilst I tucked into the many delights in front of me. Food polished off, it was time to do some more mingling .. and so this continued throughout the night. "Have you had a chance to eat anything?" someone asked. Check - already taken care of!
Ian and I made our way over to the dancefloor for our first dance. I know how nervous Ian felt about this beforehand so we maintained solid eye contact at the beginning until he felt comfortable enough to look at the cameras. We swayed from side to side in a circular pattern - he left his other left foot at home and we glided superbly across the dancefloor. Half way through, the DJ invited other guests to join us.
Ian writes:
The first dance
"Glided superbly?" Well, that's probably more complimentary than it need be. "Managed not to fall over" might have been more appropriate, or "managed not to step on dress" would be another. The truth is, I wanted to do something more adventurous than the slow circling shuffle that I was capable of, but when I did try something more adventurous - and by that I mean change from a clockwise movement to an anti-clockwise movement - I soon discovered where that other left foot had been!
I had been nervous about this moment, mainly because I dance about as well as Steven Hawking on a bad day, and I'm never keen for people to witness this. But on this day, that was the whole point - *everybody* would bear witness to my two left feet! However, thanks to people's insistence on buying the groom a drink, and also thanks to my willingness to accept, I was sufficiently 'loosened up' by this time and felt remarkably comfortable there in front of everyone, shuffling as I was.
The strangest thing about the first dance was, for me, that it was really the 'first conversation'. Probably for the first time during the whole day we'd actually got a chance to chat - no guided vows, no commands to face this way or that for photos, no ceremonial duties of one kind or another, no pressure to individually ensure that our respective guests were greeted and kept entertained. Finally we had some time to speak to each other and find out how we were. I asked Manda how she felt it all went, knowing before she spoke what the answer would be. Without any doubt, everything had gone according to plan, if not better, and any worries we might each have had about the day had evaporated. It was almost text book stuff - and I still hadn't tripped up over Manda's dress!
Manda writes:
Later, while chatting to another guest, I noticed my arm being tugged at. "We request that the bride come join us for a dance," insisted Nikki, a colleague from work. Why, but of course! A small group of us boogied on the dancefloor, whilst I watched all my bridesmaids and my relatives dancing. At one point, I saw little Toby pretending to scuba dive across the dancefloor with a straw in his mouth! Very surreal - both seeing Toby do that and watching my relatives dancing (I don't think I've ever seen many of them dance - oh, except those who made it to the hen do!).
I think it was Kate that requested that the DJ play 'Brown Eyed Girl' (the song that was playing in the background when Ian first proposed to me. Actually, Kate was also there on that occasion - hence the connection). Ian had somehow found his way back on the dancefloor and danced with me to "our" song. We had a lot of fun and looking around us it seemed everyone else was too.
We eventually left the dance floor to get a drink. At this point, we noticed a lot of guests were ready to leave for the night. A few more chats, goodbyes, hugs and kisses later, we were summoned to the dancefloor once again. Did they want to see us dancing again? No, even better than that - Vikki was about to sing for us. She picked a smoochy number - Shania Twain's "From This Moment". I wanted to dance along but Ian preferred to stay put and sway along to the music side-by-side. Vikki did a superb job. Many people had asked what the highlight of the day was and to be honest, there were too many to mention. But one of them had to have been Vikki singing to us.
Ian had asked the DJ to play for an extra hour (beyond the original 11 o'clock finish) but his duties had finally come to an end. Most of my family and friends left around midnight, taking home my bits and pieces and the decorations we'd put up in the venue. We stayed until the last guest left the bar, which was around 2am. Champagne awaited us in our room. It was the perfect end to an eventful day.
Ian writes:
I had been asked by a member of staff for the room key earlier and I must have given them a suspicious look - one that probably looked like "OK, who's bribed you to go and stitch up our room?" - because the lady assured me that it was just so that they could put a bottle of bubbly in there. Thankfully, she was true to her word but after a day of entertaining, endless smiling and having drinks thrust into my palms, I couldn't help but look at the bottle and think it was a waste. I popped open the cork knowing full well that we'd never manage to finish the bottle, let alone barely start it, but somehow it seemed rude not to crack it open to toast a perfect day. We clinked our glasses together in celebration and hoped that part 2 of our wedding day - the Chinese celebration - would go just as well as today.
Read what happened at the Chinese Banquet » [to follow]